


The Sweetest, Most Horrifying Thing

by DroppedAllTheseOreos



Category: Kamen Rider Ex-Aid
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 09:22:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28615770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DroppedAllTheseOreos/pseuds/DroppedAllTheseOreos
Summary: Kiriya was planning on doing an all-nighter but Poppy and Taiga have other plans for him, apparently.
Relationships: Hanaya Taiga/Kujou Kiriya, Kujou Kiriya & Poppy Pipopapo
Comments: 5
Kudos: 8





	The Sweetest, Most Horrifying Thing

**Author's Note:**

> Did this to get my mind off yesterday so I could focus on work today.

Asuna stood outside of the hospital watching the last few rays of the sun disappear behind the buildings. When they finally faded away, she took in a deep breath of crisp night air and started stretching. She technically didn't need to stretch, but she just finished her shift, and it felt nice. A little routine for her to shake off the workday and refresh herself for whatever might be next. Asuna could never be too careful, CR was so rowdy, and any kind of problem was prone to show up whenever she went back to the break room for the night.

The sky turned a deep blue and the street lamps started flickering on in the middle of her routine. Asuna sighed, wanting to get a little more in, but it might be for the best if she headed out before the commuter rush. Plus, she was more than ready to go back to her cabinet and take a well-deserved rest.

After a quick look around to confirm that no one was watching (not that it really mattered after the press conference announcing bugsters were a thing to the world, but still, force of habit), she teleported back to the CR meeting room, reappearing as Poppy.

The second she landed, something was noticeably out of place.

"Kiriya?"

The other bugster flinched like he got caught but turned to face her with a charming smile.

"Oh, hey Poppy, what's up?"

She narrowed her eyes at him, "Hey, Kiriya, shouldn't you be heading home by now? It's late."

He sighed, "Yeah, I know. I just kinda got wrapped up in work here. I feel like I'm close to a breakthrough, so I figured if I just kept at it, it would come to me."

Poppy's lips pursed out in a pout, and she crossed her arms, "What about Taiga? Didn't he move in with you recently? Won't he be lonely?"

"Nah, I'm sure—"

Kiriya's phone beeped, and he spun it towards him to check his notifications.

"See, it's from Taiga, he's fine," Kiriya said as he showed her his lock screen. It displayed a little message icon with Taiga's name, then he turned it back to himself to open his phone and check what it was.

Poppy kept glaring at him.

1) Who hid their notifications so you had to unlock your phone to see what people said? What if there was an emergency?

and 2) "Kiriya, he's your boyfriend, isn't he? You should go be with him."

Poppy said, still doing her best to look cross with him.

But Kiriya didn't seem to be paying attention from the way his expression grew panicked as he read through Taiga's text. Before she could ask if he even heard her, he pocketed his phone and sprang up from his chair. His form started to glow and pixelate like he was going to teleport, so Poppy jumped in front of his escape.

"What's happening? Is he okay?"

"He's fine, I won't be!" He dodged out of the way to keep running,

"Wait, what's going on?" Poppy grabbed onto his arm. He couldn't leave now! At least not until he explained that!

"He said he's cooking dinner!" Kiriya attempted to tug his arm out of her grasp, but she held tight.

"Kiriya! How could you be so mean! That's sweet of him."

A haunted look came over Kiriya's eyes, and she loosened her grip the slightest bit in surprise. He'd never looked like that distressed and disturbed before.

"Poppy, he can't cook! He's survived off of instant ramen packs and spite for the last five years until Nico moved into the clinic. And he didn't even _cook_ the ramen, he just crunched it up and mixed it with the flavor pack. That's not a meal, that's an affront to the whole planet! What kind of person doesn't have an electric kettle or something to boil water in until a 17-year-old waltzes in and buys you one?"

Poppy leaned in and shook his arm reassuringly.

"Go to him," she whispered dramatically, then let him go.

He nodded and started running again, teleporting away mid-step.

Now that that was over, she turned back to the meeting room table and saw the sprawling mess of papers surrounding Kiriya's laptop. She put her hands on her hips and huffed. Just like she anticipated. There was always something that needed to be done around here.

She started to get all the papers in order, planning on getting Kiriya to take her to a crepe place that she'd been meaning to try as compensation. Shouldn't be too hard, honestly.

* * *

Meanwhile, Kiriya landed in his apartment's kitchen, almost crashing into the stove as he did.

"Oh, you managed to stick the landing that time." And Kiriya could hear the smirk in Taiga's voice from over by the sink. Didn't matter, there were more pressing things here!

"You're _cooking?_ I thought we had an agreement." He said, stumbling over to clutch desperately at Taiga's shirt.

"Yeah, I thought that'd get you to come home."

Kiriya stared at Taiga like he just slapped him across the face, and stumbled back to rest against the kitchen counter. He ran a hand through his hair as his mouth fell open, trembling slightly. "Y-you... You absolute dick! I can't believe you!"

"Doesn't feel good, huh? That's payback for nearly giving me a heart attack at the clinic last week, trying to get me to come home," Taiga finally turned to him, trying and failing to hide his smirk.

Kiriya just shook his head, "I hate you so much right now but also, I'm so proud. My boyfriend's finally growing enough brain cells to embrace the powers of deception."

Taiga rolled his eyes, but still wiped his hands off on the towel they hung from a nearby drawer and opened his arms to him. Kiriya went to him easily, burying his face in Taiga's shoulder as they hugged it out. And as the moment slowly faded, Kiriya peeked over to the sink to see...

"You got beni-imo?"

"Yeah, dessert. You always talk about just eating little slices like roll cake as a kid... So I thought, you just cut it up right? Can't be that hard."

"Taiga, that's the sweetest, most horrifying thing I've ever heard in my life. You have to bake it. Have you ever had raw potato before, you monster?" Taiga laughed and Kiriya squeezed his hands. "Well, at least you had the sense to wash them this time. Why don't I help you out?"

"Really?" Taiga raised an eyebrow. "Kujo 'I was born and raised in a restaurant' Kiriya is letting someone else take control in his kitchen?"

"Of course not." Kiriya grinned, "Still my apartment, and my kitchen, so you have to do everything I say, under close supervision."

Taiga nodded, "Probably for the best."

"Alright, tell me the rest of the dinner plan and we can figure out where to start." Kiriya said as he bumped Taiga's hip with his own.

And as they talked and Kiriya began to show him some basic kitchen skills, he was glad he came home.

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like they're the embodiment of that "i switched out your sugar for salt in your morning coffee," and "i know it's salt and this tastes horrible but i refuse to look weak in front of them" trope. So Kiriya finds a way to sneak a small chunk of raw potato onto Taiga's plate and is horrified when he just watches him crunch through it like it's nothing. All the while Taiga's internally screaming that it's cold and horrible.


End file.
